LuanDoesn'tSuck
by Anthony Staffenhagen
Summary: Emolga bites Luan and it causes some problems for everybody. Meanwhile, there's a stupid subplot about how Karli and Diancie have to get Sam & Cat to agree to something. Cover image by jixie007 on DeviantArt.
1. Chapter 1

Luan's Family & Lillie: Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday, Dear Luan! Happy Birthday to you!

Lillie: Even though it's not really your birthday, just the only day we could have the party on!

Everyone but Leni and Lily gave Lillie a look of disapproval.

Lillie: What?

Luan blew out her candles. Outside the Loud house, Diancie's group except Celebi were putting up missing posters for Celebi.

Marshadow: PUT UP THE POSTERS FASTER!

Whatshername: We're going as fast as we can!

Diancie: Not fast enough! Every second you waste not hanging up these posters could've been used looking for Celebi, so GET MOVING!

Whatshername: If time is so important to you, then why do you keep talking?! That sounds like wasting time to me!

Emolga (but like, in a sad way): Ask me about time! Ask me!...Sorry. But anyway, you guys really need to calm down. Why don't we take a break and play a game, like…Truth or Dare?

Diancie: What is the matter with you?! We are not going to stop and play a game!

Emolga: It was just a suggest…

Whatshername: HOLD IT! Celebi must be okay, otherwise Diancie and Marshadow would be feeling the same pain she was.

Diancie and Marshadow: ….That is true.

Diancie: But what if she…?

Whatshername's phone, which is shaped like a squid, rang.

Whatshername: Hello…..….…Okay, I'll tell everybody.

Whatshername hung up.

Whatshername: Celebi switched bodies with George's Mudkip and she's at his house.

Diancie: Oh, that's a relief!

Marshadow: But how do we Switch them back?

Whatshername: She said she'd explain when we got there. Now Let's Go!

Diancie: Absolutely. But FIRST! Emolga, since you wanna play Truth or Dare so badly….I DARE you to go in that house and bite whoever's birthday it is on the arm.

Emolga: That's it? I expected something much worse from you.

Diancie: I'm not done. Before you go inside, you have to drink…

Diancie pointed at something.

Diancie: …that entire container of radioactive waste.

Emolga: …..Actually, Diancie you can't just give me a dare. You have to ask me…

Diancie: Drink! The radioactive. WASTE!

Marshadow: You cannot be serious, Diancie. You cannot make Emolga…

Emolga went over to the radioactive waste and started drinking it.

Whatshername: …Anyway, Celebi said this isn't as bad as the last time she switched bodies with someone. Who else has she switched bodies with?

Diancie: Bayonetta.

Whatshername: …..When did that happen?

Diancie: A couple years ago, I think.

Whatshername: Why did you wait to tell me?

 **Inside**

Everyone was watching a home video from when Luan was a baby.

Baby Luan lifted herself up while she was at the top of the stairs.

Baby Luan: Pun Pun!

Then she started WALKING DOWN THE STAIRS.

Lynn Sr.: Everybody! Come quick! Luan's walking!...Down the stairs!

Rita, 4-year-old Lori, 3-year-old Leni, and 2-year-old Luna came over and watched Baby Luan reach the bottom. Then they all freaked out because of how AMAZING it was.

Luan: Why didn't you ever tell me about this?

Lynn Sr.: We didn't want you to know we left you upstairs alone when you were a baby.

Luan: You say that like it was unsafe.

The phone rang.

Lillie: Hello.

Anthony: Lillie, I need you to come to my house.

Lillie: Why?

Anthony: It's needed for the plot of this later.

Lillie: But it's Aunt Luan's birthday party.

Anthon: Okay, come when it's over then.

Lillie: KK.

Lillie hang up. Emolga came in. She had turned green and was not feeling good. That is not scientifically accurate. Drinking all that radioactive waste would kill her.

Luan: So, what other videos do we…?

Emolga bit Luan on the part of her arm that's on the other side of her elbow.

Luan: Ow! What was that for?

Emolga (while pointing at Diancie): Emol Emolga.

Emolga went back outside.

Emolga: Before we go to George's house, can we stop at a Pokémon Center real quick?

Diancie: NO!

Marshadow: Yes, of course we can.

Diancie's group except Celebi left.

Rita: Are you okay, Luan?

Luan: Yeah, I think so. I mean, my head feels a little funny, but I'm sure that'll stop in a minute.

The phone rang again.

Lillie: Hello.

Anthony: I changed my mind. I need you to come to my house TOMORROW.

Lillie: Uhhh…..okay.


	2. Chapter 2

**One Day Later**

Diancie was reading a novel called _The Next Day_. Karli came in and was really excited.

Karli: Diancie! Diancie! Quit reading that book and GET HYPED!

Diancie: For what?

Karli: 2019! We're gonna go to Kanto! Kanto is where I, Karli O'Donnell, am from. Is from? I, Karli O'Donnell, am from Kanto. Yeah, it's "am from." Anyway, like I was saying, KANTO!

Karli started shaking Diancie's chair back and forth.

Diancie: Touching my chair is close enough to touching me.

Karli: Sorry.

Diancie: Pronounce it right.

Karli: Soar-rye. Now are you looking forward to 2019 or what?

Diancie: I would never leave Kalos and go live in Kanto, especially not if Celebi isn't coming with me!

Karli: I'm sure Anthony will think…

Diancie: I wanna talk about what happened to Celebi yesterday.

Karli: But I…

Diancie: She got her body switched with…

Another person came into the room.

?: My name is Martin Malloy.

Karli: Ooh.

Martin Malloy: I'm a lawyer.

Karli: A lawyer? Yeah!

Martin Malloy: You're happy to see me? That has not happened once in my entire career.

Karli: Well, when you're a Capcom fan like me, lawyers suddenly become a lot more likeable.

Diancie: Why are you here?

Martin Malloy: Your upcoming time spent in Kanto is too similar to a show that premiered in 2013.

Diancie: How?

Martin Malloy: Both are about two side characters living together. In both, one of the characters is tough and often angry, and the other is an idiot.

Karli: Hey!

Diancie: What's your point?

Martin Malloy: It must be cancelled. It is just too similar. Sam & Cat, Diancie and Karli. Obviously that's confusing.

Karli: But that whole "living together" thing isn't even gonna be what it's about anymore. That was just the original idea.

Diancie beat up Martin Malloy and then threw him out of the room.

Karli: But you just said you didn't care about going to Kanto.

Diancie: I don't. But what that guy was saying was so stupid, I just had to beat him up. Now make me some toast!

Karli: I'll get my book.

 **At a certain restaurant**

Karli's mom: Okay, wait a minute. You're saying a lawyer just showed up yesterday?

Diancie: Yeah.

Karli: And he said my upcoming 2019 journey in Kanto has to get cancelled. But it doesn't.

Karli's mom: Then why did he say it did?

Karli: Because there used to be an awesome sitcom on Nick called Sam & Cat. So, since we now have an issue, we must do something about it that will take approximately half an hour and have several funny moments.

Diancie: No we don't! That stupid human can't just decide what we're allowed to do.

Karli's mom: Say, who wants to hear about the time I cancelled my subscription to Decision Magazine?

Diancie: Nobody!

Karli: Not I.

Suddenly, Tandy the red robot appeared.

Tandy: Hello! Are you enjoying your foods?

Karli: Yes, thank you. Except, he didn't get his curly fries.

Karli pointed at a pair of dice that were on the table.

Tandy: Oh-no! I'm sorry. I forgot.

Tandy left.

Karli: While he gets the curly fries, what do you say we watch Sam & Cat on this laptop. We can do so thanks to Nick's website.

Everyone watched a Sam & Cat scene on Nick's website.

Narrator: Hey kids, it's time for the wet and wacky world of Salmon Cat. Today's episode is about SHARING.

Sam: Ugh!...This is…..torture!

Diancie: What she said.

Karli: I like it.

Salmon Cat: Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. I got a whole bag of candy!

Octopiggy: Oink, oink, oink.

Salmon Cat: Hi there, Octopiggy.

Octopiggy: Can I have some candy?

Salmon Cat: No!

Octopiggy: But I was hoping you would **SHARE** some of your candy with me.

Diancie and Sam at the same time: Okay, I can't watch any more of this trash.

Diancie: That show is nothing like either of us.

Karli: Actually Diancie, most of what you saw…

Diancie: It had an octopus in it. Whatshername would be offended by it!

Karli: Like I said, I like it.

Tandy: Here are your curly fries.

Tandy put the plate of curly fries on the table in front of the dice.

Tandy: You know, for a human, you are incredibly small and oddly cubed shape. You also appear to be in 2 pieces.

Karli: *gasp* There is no need to point out the fact that his appearance is different than that of most humans. Why you got to be so...lumpatious?!

Tandy: Eventually all humans will die, and robots will rule the Earth!

Diancie: That would be Pokémon, actually.

Tandy: Oh, yes. Naturally, Pokémon will die as well.

Diancie: I meant Pokémon will RULE THE EARTH, like we should be doing already!

Tandy: But it is robots who should rule the earth.

Diancie: NO, it's not! It's Pokémon!

Karli: You're gonna have to fight him now.

Diancie ignored Karli's comment because she wanted to fight him anyway. Diancie punched Tandy's head off and then he fell forward.

?: And now **I** challenge the misanthrope to a battle!

The guy who said that was the spear fisherman!

Diancie (sarcastic): Yeah, 'cause you look like someone who stands a chance against me.

Spear Fisherman: Just you wait. I'm a spear fisherman! I'm going to attack you using this here spear gun.

Diancie: Saying you're gonna do something doesn't mean you can.

Their battle began.

Karli's mom: This is getting too crazy for me. I'm leaving. Besides, I have to get to the airport.

Karli: Oh, where ya' goin'?

Karli's mom: Well, let's just say it involves baked cookies, painting fingers, and a funk rock band formed in 1983.

Karli's mom left.

Karli: ….What cookies **aren't** baked?

Diancie stuck her tongue down the spear fisherman's ear.

Spear Fisherman: I'm a spear fisherman!


	3. Chapter 3

**Back at the Loud house**

Lillie came from upstairs while singing a song.

Lillie: Hey there, big thermometer, mometer, mometer! Hey there, big thermometer, you're so large!

Lillie looked in the dining room and saw everybody else at the table eating. Then she looked at Luan and got scared.

Lynn Sr.: Something wrong, Lillie?

Lillie: No, nothing. I'm just going to Anthony's house. Just because he told me to and not because I'm scared of what's about to happen.

Lana: What's about to happen?

Lillie: I CAN'T TELL YOU! *deep breath* Calm down, Lillie. *deep breath* I'm just gonna go to Anthony's house and I'll see you guys later.

Lillie: _Sloppy, sloppy WAFFLES! Sloppy waffles! Sloppy waffles! Sloppy WAFFLES!_

Lillie went over to the door.

Lincoln (angrily): Was that that song from Teen Titans Go!?

Lillie: No! What I was singing predates that.

Lillie left, or got the heck out of there, I should say.

Lisa: I'm going to go get some citric acid.

Lincoln: Oh, sorry, we're out of orange juice.

Lana: You know, when I get thirsty on a hot day, I find myself a damp rock, flip it over and lick it.

Everyone heard someone knock on the window. Lincoln went over to it and saw who it was. It was RANDY!

Lincoln: Hello. Who are you?

Randy: I'm Randy! I need another case of Blue Dog.

Lincoln: I don't know what you're talking about. I think you've got the wrong house.

Luan looked around at everybody and considered doing something. Then she did it. She…


	4. Chapter 4

…shot electricity out of her hands, zapping her whole family!

Then she put them all in a net and ran out of the house while carrying it. They were all saying various things out of shock (That was not a joke. That was an unfortunate coincidental pairing of words.) at the same time.

Randy: So am I getting that case of Blue Dog or what?...I'm Randy!

Luan took the other Louds to Lumiose City and threw them in Espurr's hideout.

Luan: Watch these for me.

Espurr: No! You can't tell…

Luan zapped Espurr. Then she left and started destroying buildings and stuff.

Reporter: As you can see, Luan from The Loud House is destroying Lumiose City. I would react less nonchalantly, but Lumiose City has been destroyed so many times that it doesn't even feel like a problem anymore. Luan has turned evil and somehow now has Electric superpowers. Everyone would be running for safety, but because this doesn't make anyone panic anymore, they're instead jogging for safety. For News News News News, I'm Tammy Yanks. Yanks for watching.

Luan zapped Tammy Yanks.

Lillie was watching that news report on the laptop at Anthony's house.

Lillie: I knew that was gonna happen.

Eureka said something heroic and then ran out of the house. Emolga went over to Celebi, who was back in her body.

Emolga: Celbs, I think me biting Luan yesterday is what gave her those powers and turned her evil.

Celebi: How could it do that?

Emolga: A radioactive Pokémon was how Shauna & Serena got their powers. Now come on, Let's Go back in time.

Celebi: We can't. I don't have my power anymore. Don't you remember when you took it out with that needle?

Emolga: Oh, I thought you would've known. When Buddy was in your body, he did some time traveling. I saw that in Until the End of Time.

Celebi: But, how could…?

Marshadow: What are you guys talking about?

Celebi got scared and time traveled. Then she came right back.

Celebi: You're right, Emolga. It's back. But how?

Lillie: You're probably talking about how Celebi can time travel again. It's because she has an internal organ that reproduces her time travel juice every time she uses it. It's an organ every Celebi has and can only work for Celebi. If she wants her power to be gone for good, she's gonna need to get that organ removed. It's called a chronogellum.

Celebi, Emolga, and Marshadow made "How do you know all that" faces.

Lillie: You're wondering how I know all that, aren't you? Just trust me, I needed to know it….I'm gonna go watch Sam & Cat.

Lillie went upstairs.

Emolga: So are we gonna go back in time or what?

Celebi: No way! I've gotta go find a doctor who can remove my chrono…whatever it was Lillie said.

Emolga: But what about saving Luan?

Celebi: I really don't think you should go back in time anyway. It's too…

Emolga: Oh wait, I can just use Karli's time machine. Duh!

Emolga left.

Celebi: *sigh* Marshy, do you know where Anthony is? I wanna ask him if he knows any doctors who can remove my chrono….thing.

Marshadow: I don't know where he went, but when he left the house, he kept shouting "Special" over and over for some reason.

Celebi: Oh. Yeah, I know where he went. Will you come with me?

Marshadow: Happy to.

Celebi and Marshadow left.

 **Upstairs**

Cat: Oh, Abe. Why such a tall hat?

Lillie: Oh, Cat. Why must you ask about such a tall hat?


	5. Chapter 5

Karli was on a laptop looking for information that could help with the issue she was currently facing.

Diancie: Hey, look, I found a new pair of underwear in the bushes.

Karli: Boy's or girl's?

Diancie: Humans wear different kinds of underwear depending on what gender they are?

Karli: Yeah.

Diancie: That's so dumb.

Diancie put the underwear on Karli's hat without her noticing.

Karli: Ooh, ooh, ooh! It says on here where Sam Puckett and Cat Valentine currently are. Thank you, internet, for destroying everybody's privacy.

Diancie: Why should I care where those 2 people you said are. The answer is I shouldn't.

Karli: Because they were the stars of that awesome sitcom Sam & Cat. And if we go talk to them, we can ask them if it's okay for us to do that thing we were gonna do in 2019 despite the similarities it may or may not have to Sam & Cat.

Diancie: Yeah, I won't be doing that. I'll be glad if you can't do that 2019 thing.

Karli: What?! Why?

Diancie: Because it should be about me.

Karli: But isn't you not being the main character better than nothing about you at all?

Diancie: NO!

Karli: So you're not gonna go see Sam & Cat with me?

Diancie: Absolutely not!

Diancie then got an idea.

Diancie: Is the opposite of my answer to that question.

Karli: Yeah! Sudden mind change! What're we gonna do?

Diancie: You are gonna go see Cat and I am gonna go see Sam. And we are gonna talk them into letting us make a series about the two of us going to Kanto and I will definitely not be doing something else!

Karli: YEAH!

Diancie: Oh and by the way, I was just under.

Karli: Under where?

Diancie: That's right. Exactly.

Karli went to where Cat was. She rang the doorbell.

Cat: Ding dong.

Karli went inside.

Karli: Hello, I'm here to see Cat Valentine.

Cat: I'm Cat Valentine.

Karli: Oh good. You still have your red hair and funny voice. Someone told me that voice was gone and your hair was brown now.

Cat: Nope. Now, what brings you here?

Karli: Oh, it was a bus. Anyway, this Pokémon I know and I have this upcoming thing called The Unusual Experiences of Diancie and Karli.

Cat: Oh! How much fun is that gonna be?

Karli: I know! But a lawyer named Martin Malloy said it's too much like your old TV show Sam & Cat, which I personally feel it isn't. So I was hoping you could talk to him and tell him that you're okay with us making it.

Cat: …..Do you know I collect Nintendo Labo?

Karli: Say what?

Cat: See, these walls are filled with each Labo kit Nintendo has released. I found out about them when I was watching The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.

Karli: …..Did you know my acquaintance Eureka used to call me your last name for some reason?

 **Elsewhere**

Diancie: So then, I put the underwear right on top of her stupid, precious hat.

Sam: That's funny. I did something like that once.

Diancie: Oh, speakin' of that. That 2019 thing that's getting made I was telling you about? You need to tell the guy making it that it is nothing but a Sam & Cat rip-off. It is the biggest rip-off that ever ripped off. And the only way to fix that is if he gives me complete creative control of it.

Sam: Is all the true?

Diancie: That's not the point! The point is I want you to tell people that it's true.

Sam got a text message.

Sam: Are you sure? 'Cause Cat just texted me saying that a girl named Karli…

Sam turned forward and held up a sign that said "I acknowledge that I just said "Karli" and I used to be on a show with a girl named "Carly."

Sam: …wants us to tell a lawyer that your thing ISN'T a Sam & Cat rip-off.

Diancie: Ignore it!


	6. Chapter 6

**Lumiose City**

Luan was knocking down buildings with her Electric powers. Inside one of the ones she knocked down was that guy who looks like a hobo but his life is going greatly.

Herb: My life's goin' great!

Eureka, Shauna, and Serena Teleported to Lumiose City. Luan was about to zap Prism Tower, but Eureka stopped her by grabbing her hand.

Eureka: Don't. You. Even. DARE!

Shauna: Eureka told us about Emolga biting you yesterday. But why are you destroying Lumiose City?

Luan: Because I'm evil.

Serena: Getting superpowers because a radioactive Pokémon bit you doesn't mean you have to turn evil, Luan. Especially not this fast.

Luan: Who's Luan? If I'm gonna be a supervillain, I need a cool name that relates to the Pokémon I got my powers from. I am…

Shauna: Let me guess. Emolga Woman?

Luan: No! I'm not gonna be uncreative like you two, who only took the name of the Pokémon and put it in front of the word "Woman." I'm actually gonna use some imagination. I…am Emol Gal!

An Emolga themed supervillain suit appeared on Luan.

Luan: *evil laugh* Get it?

Shauna and Serena started fighting Luan.

Eureka: Luan! Stop this!

Luan: Stop calling me Luan! That name sucks!

Eureka: No it doesn't! Oh, if only someone knew how to turn Luan back to normal.

?: Hey!

Eureka looked forward and saw Goomer & Dice!

Goomer: We know how to turn Luan back to normal!

Dice: What are you talking about? No we don't.

Goomer: Sure we do.

Eureka: Let's Go into Prism Tower and talk there.

 **The building in which a family consisting of a husband and wife and their 10 daughters all of whom have the last name "Special" reside in**

Anthony was sitting on the floor in front of the TV with an N64 game in his hands. Lisa and Lana were on the couch.

Anthony: Here we go. This universe's version of Smash 64.

Anthony started playing the game.

Anthony: Oh. It's exactly like my universe's version. Yeah, this wasn't worth the money. I knew I should've bought Pokémon Puzzle League.

Lana: You just started. How can you tell it's exactly the same?

Anthony: I meant it's the same so far. There might be some differences I can't see yet, but I was expecting it to have the 12 characters flip-flopped around like you guys are in comparison to the Louds.

Lana: …But, why would it…?

Lynn Sr. and Rita (Lynn Sr.'s the mom and Rita's the dad) came in from the kitchen.

Rita: Time to go, Lana.

Lana: Are you sure this is gonna work?

Lynn Sr.: We guarantee it.

One of Lana's parents pushed her in her wheelchair over to the front door with the other following. That is a weird sentence. But before they exited, Emolga came flying through the doorway really fast. Then she started saying something in her language very quickly. Actually, these are all weird sentences.

Anthony: Emolga, slow down. I can't tell what you're saying.

Lisa: She said she bit your Luan, which somehow turned her evil. Now she's attacking your Lumiose City.

Lana: She was gonna go back in time, but she needs your help working the time machine…Wait. What time machine?

Lana's parents took her outside so they could leave.

Anthony: We don't need to use Karli's time machine. I already know exactly what we need to do to turn Luan back to good.

Lisa: Are you going to say I develop an antidote? Because, as easy as that would be, I'm still…

Anthony: No! Don't be silly. I was gonna say we have to remind her of who she really is!

Lisa: *groan to indicate that she still thinks that's dumb*

Anthony: Hey, it worked for me on Mother's Day.

Lisa: I still fail to understand how what Leni and I did was…

Anthony: Okay, what we need to do is go to Y Universe Lumiose City and tell Luan some jokes. Now let's see, who in this house would do a good job at telling jokes that **_LUAN_** would find funny?

Luan Special appeared.

Anthony: …HHhhmmm…something tells me you MIGHT be the right choice for this.

Luan: I would be, but uhh….

Luan looked at Lisa and made a "I know you guys don't like it when I tell jokes" face.

Lisa: Luan, none of us ever said you couldn't tell jokes. We just felt that you shouldn't have made a joke about Lana's injuries, especially not right after the accident. You shouldn't have to give up comedy all together just because of that. Now go! Go tell Anthony's Luan some jokes, even though it's definitely not going to work.

Luan: Thank you. But why didn't anybody say that before?

Lisa: Oh. Well…uhh…

Lola came in from the parents' bedroom.

Lola: It's because we were happy to have a break from you being annoying.

Lisa: Lola!

Lola: Don't go yelling at me, I'm not the one who just made Luan awful again.

Lola went upstairs.

Lisa: Don't listen to her, Luan. You don't…*notices Luan isn't listening*…Luan?

Luan: Did you and Lola say something? I was thinking about what jokes I'm gonna use.

Lisa: Not a thing.

Luan: Ok then, I'm gonna go now.

Luan got really excited.

Anthony: Hold the phone, young lady! You can't just go up to her like meeting a different version of yourself who's also a different version of your sister is a normal everyday thing.

Lisa: He's right. The Louds aren't as knowledgeable about alternate universes as we are. Remember how Lincoln reacted to us when we met him?

Luan: Oh, right. What do I need to do then?

Anthony: You're gonna have to use Lisa's cloaking device and disguise your voice.

Luan (in a different voice): Well, that second thing shouldn't be a problem.

Anthony: You sound like Daphne from Scooby-Doo.

Luan: What's Scooby-Doo?

Anthony: I'll discuss it with you some other time maybe. Now about Lisa's cloaking device…

Luan (normal voice): Yeah, how am I supposed to use it when it's away in storage?

Lisa: …..Umm, well…actually…

Lisa took off one of her shoes.

Luan: Your cloaking device is your shoe?

Lisa: Yes. Please don't tell mom and dad…or Lola.

Luan took off one of her shoes and put on Lisa's. Celebi and Marshadow came in.

Anthony: We'll get to your problem later. Just wait here.


	7. Chapter 7

Goomer and Dice were sitting at a table in Prism Tower with Eureka. Goomer was crying.

Eureka: I just asked you if you wanted some water.

Goomer: I don't want any water! I WANT CHOCOLATE MILK!

Dice: Could you get him some CHOCOLATE MILK?

Eureka: I will if you two tell me how to turn Luan back to normal.

Dice: But we don't really…

Goomer: You see, what you have to do is…get me some CHOCOLATE MILK.

Eureka: …..Dedenne, bring us a glass of CHOCOLATE MILK.

Goomer: May I have two, please?

Eureka: No, you….bring us two.

Luan S. arrived in Y Universe Lumiose City and was invisible. Luan L. was still fighting Shauna and Serena.

Luan S. (Daphne voice): Hey, Luan! Seeing you destroy the city sure is….SHOCKING!

Luan L. thought that was hilarious. Luan S. kept telling horrendous puns which made Luan L. crack up until she eventually returned to normal.

Luan S. (thinking, normal voice): Yeah, those jokes should do the trick.

That's right. That previous moment was just Luan S.'s IMAGINATION!

Luan S. (Daphne voice): Hey, Luan! Seeing you destroy the city sure is….SHOCKING!

Luan L.: That is the most unoriginal "joke" in the history of appalling jokes!

Luan S. (normal voice): What?!

Luan L. zapped Luan S.

Luan S.: I don't understand. How could she not like that joke?

Luan S. called her house.

Luan: It didn't work!

Lisa: I told you it wouldn't work! You put my little sister into a perilous situation for noth…

Anthony: Let her finish! Luan, what happened?

Luan: I told her a joke and then she called it something along the lines of "the most unoriginal joke in history."

Anthony: …Luan would never say something like that…There is only one logical explanation!

Lisa: Oh, really? Just one? Because I can think of…

Anthony: I don't care what the exact number of explanations you came up with is. Because, like I said, there is only **ONE** logical one! And that logical explanation is that that person who's fighting Shauna & Serena in Lumiose City…..isn't really Luan!

Lisa: Who is it then?

Anthony: It's Luan's…...


	8. Chapter 8

Anthony: **EVIL** **TWIN!**

Lisa: *deep breath* Anthony, you really shouldn't jump to a…

Anthony: I gotta go!

Anthony ran to the Loud house in the Y Universe and up to Luan's room.

Anthony: Just as I knew!

Luan was laying in bed because she was sick.

Anthony: Your evil twin knocked down a bunch of buildings in Lumiose City.

Sorry about all the times I said Luan's evil twin was really her. I shouldn't have lied because lying is wrong. But if I hadn't, it would've given away the twist.

Luan: What are you talking about?

Anthony: This sickness you've got here? It ain't a cold or a fever or anything like that. You wanna know what it is?

Luan: Not if you're the one who's gonna tell me.

Anthony: It is a Twinfection!

Luan: I just said I didn't want you to…

Anthony: I'll be right back.

Anthony left the room and came back with various items. He started mixing a dirty sock in a pitcher full of water. Then he poured some of it in a glass.

Anthony: Oh! Oof! Aw yeah. Oh gross. Liquid filth! Drinking this, in accompaniment with doing a few other things, will make your Twinfection go away.

Luan: I am NOT drinking that!

Anthony: If doing this stuff doesn't make you feel better, I will give you 100 million Poké Dollars.

Luan sat up enthusiastically.

Anthony: Drink the dirty sock water!

Luan took a drink and it was disgusting.

Anthony: Good, now rub the Magikarp against your face.

Luan held up a rubber Magikarp and rubbed it against her face.

Anthony: All over, both cheeks.

Luan: But, jeez, it's smelly.

Anthony: Now blow the horn.

Luan: Okay.

Luan blew a horn and then continued following Anthony's instructions.

Anthony: Good! Back to one! Dirty sock water! - Dirty sock water! – 'Karp to face! - 'Karp to face. Blow the horn! - Blow the horn. Good good good, faster! - Dirty sock water! - Sock water. 'Karp to face! - 'Karp to face. Say hi to my twin sister, Melanie.

Luan: ….What?

Anthony: I don't really have a twin. That's just a part of this.

Luan: …Uh…okay? Hi, Melanie?

Anthony: Say it like you mean it!

Luan: Hi, Melanie.

Anthony: Blow the horn.

Luan: Horn!

Luan blew the horn and then didn't feel sick anymore.

Luan: Oh my Arceus! It actually worked! I feel like I was never sick in the first place.

Anthony: Which should mean…

Luan's evil twin melted and turned into a chocolate bar. Luan S. picked up the chocolate bar AND THEN SHE ATE IT!

Luan L.: Which should mean what?

Anthony: …We should go downstairs.

Luan: Can't say no to that!

Anthony and Luan went downSTAIRS.

Luan: So how did you know doing that stuff would make me feel better? And where is everybody?

Anthony: They're trapped under a net in a Lumiose City café.

Luan: What?!

Luan punched Anthony in the face.

Luan: What in the name of Joey Gladstone is wrong with you?! What kind of person knows someone's family is in trouble and doesn't…Oh, I don't have time to yell at you right now! I've gotta go save my family!

Luan ran out of the house.

Anthony: I tricked Cat! I tricked Cat! I tricked Cat 'cause I'm so smart!

Myron and Byron (the twins who appeared in the Sam & Cat episode #Twinfection) got up from behind the couch and danced while Anthony sang.

 **Prism Tower**

Dedenne put two glasses of CHOCOLATE MILK on the table.

Eureka: Now drink your CHOCOLATE MILK and tell us about Luan!

Goomer lifted up his glasses of CHOCOLATE MILK.

Goomer: Okay. Well, you see…

Goomer threw the CHOCOLATE MILK in Eureka and Dedenne's faces.

Goomer: We gotta get out of here!

Goomer picked up Dice and ran out of Prism Tower.

 **Espurr's hideout**

Luan helped her family get out of the net. Anthony went over to Espurr.

Anthony: Are you okay?

Espurr: You shouldn't want me to be okay! I'm a bad guy!

Luan: Who did this?

Luan's family were surprised she asked that.

Lincoln: You did.

Luan: I did? What are you talking about?

Anthony: It wasn't her, it was her evil twin.

Most of the Louds gave Anthony a look.

Anthony: *groan* When a person gets bitten by a twin, that person gets a Twinfection and they get their own evil twin.

Most of the Louds (sarcastically): Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Anthony: I'm serious.

Lola: Seriously out of your mind.

Anthony: No, a person will always get an evil twin shortly after being bitten by a twin. FACT!

Leni: You guys are so full of pudding. If Anthony said it, it must be true!

Lincoln: Aw, Leni. Sweet, innocent Leni. This so called "Twinfection" thing Anthony is trying to convince us of is nothing but complete nonsense.

Luan: Even if it wasn't, I wasn't bitten by a twin any time recently. Unless Lana or Lola bit me while I was sleeping last night…

Lola and Lana: We didn't.

Luan: Then the only one who bit me was Emolga.

Anthony: Did you kiss anybody yesterday? That's the same as a bite.

Luan: No.

Anthony: Then I guess Emolga has a twin that nobody ever knew about.

Lana: But Pokémon can't be twins.

Anthony: Are you sure?

Lana: Yeah. They individually hatch from eggs one at a time.

Anthony: Well then I'll deal with this and its explanation some other day. Father's Day to be specific.

Lincoln: Or you were just wrong about the "Twinfection" thing.

Anthony: I was not wrong.

Most of the Louds said various "We don't agree with you" things.

Anthony: Come on, Loudsers! This is a universe where Glaceon Woman and Esbreon Woman exist. Why can't Twinfections, time travel, cartoon characters, the Animalizer from The Thundermans, and all the other stuff I've said is real that you've said isn't, exist too?

Anthony (whispering to Luan): Need I remind you how Glaceon Woman and Esbreon Woman got their powers?

Anthony: Just something to consider.

Anthony left.

Lincoln: How much longer before we can declare Anthony the most insane person in the world?

All of the Louds except Luan left. Luan thought about what Anthony had whispered to her. She lifted up her hand and pointed it at Espurr. Then she…


	9. Chapter 9

…zapped her. The realization that she now had superpowers (other than the stairs related one she already had) freaked Luan out. Then she ran out of Espurr's hideout scared.

Espurr threw a fit because her life's goin' the opposite of great.

 **Elsewhere**

Sam & Cat signed a contract that allowed Diancie and Karli to go to Kanto in 2019.

Diancie: I still would've preferred you didn't sign that contract.

Karli: Don't worry, Anthony will…

Diancie: He had better change his mind and let me stay in Kalos. And even if he doesn't, I'm still gonna!

A phone rang and Karli answered it.

Karli: Hello.

Anthony: Sasha is in Ultra Space.

Karli: ….She's in Ultra Space?! How long has she been there?!

Anthony: Since the 27th.

Karli: Why didn't you tell me?!

Anthony: I didn't feel like it. Geez, what is it today with brown haired girls who have an A in their name and getting mad at me for not telling them where their loved ones are?

Karli: …Mr. Anthony Staffenhagen, this is the most lumpatious thing you have ever done! How could you?! Our friendship DOES NOT EXIST ANYMORE! I never want to see a single part of your body ever again.

Karli angrily threw the phone down, which did not hang it up. Good effort though.

Karli: Come on, we gotta go to Ultra Space and save Sasha apparently.

Diancie: Nah, I'm good.

Diancie left.

Cat: How are we gonna get there?

Karli: The only known way is to have this one Pokémon, Nebby, open an Ultra Wormhole. But there's no time for that. If only there was a faster way.

Cat: Maybe if I make baby noises into the phone.

Sam: That's not gonna work.

Cat: It worked on Drake & Josh.

Cat made baby noises into the phone. This took them to Ultra Space. Karli went over to Sasha.

 **The building in which a family consisting of a husband and wife and their 10 daughters all of whom have the last name "Special" reside in**

Luan was home now. Emolga, Celebi, and Marshadow were still there. Anthony came in.

Anthony: Emolga, I should probably tell you that I found out earlier you might have a…Actually, I can tell you some other day. Father's Day to be specific. It's nothing important anyway.

The Special parents came in.

Lynn Sr.: Kids, come down here! You're gonna wanna see this.

All the kids came into the living room.

Rita: Everyone, feast your eyes on the new, the improved…Lana Special!

They opened the door and Lana wasn't in her cast anymore!

Lana started walking around because she could!

Lisa: Your injuries are healed? But…but how?

Lana: Mom and dad took me to a doctor who REALLY knows his stuff.

Rita: And he's coming by later to help us figure out what to do about that disease you have.

Lisa *mumbling under her breath*: I could've easily done that myself if you would just let me.

Rita: What was that?

Lisa: Nothing. And speaking of good news, guess who decided to pursue her passion again.

Lisa held up Luan. Lana stopped walking and made an "Oh-no!" face.

Lana: …Luan's gonna tell jokes again?

Luan: Sure am!

Lana: ….And I'm guessing she's gonna go back to doing all that horrible stuff on April Fool's Day too.

Luan: *gasp* I didn't even think of that! Heck yeah, I am!

Lana: …Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat.

Anthony: Wait. Do you dislike Luan doing all her Luan-y things?

Lana continued walking.

Lana: Not so much that I'm gonna let it ruin this good mood I'm in. I mean, I can walk again and Luan doesn't have to push my wheelchair down the stairs anymore. But yeah, I dislike all that "funny" and April Fool's Day stuff she does.

Anthony: …..Hhhhm. You saying all this should be something I find hilarious because you look like my Luan, and you saying you don't like what Luan does is the perfect way for me to make fun of her. So…..Looks like I don't hate my Luan anymore.

Lana: …Or you just know that I'm not…

Anthony: Nope, it's the thing I said.

Anthony almost left.

Anthony: Oh wait, I wanna see what this doctor is gonna do first.

Lynn Sr.: Well, he shouldn't be here for a couple more…oh, never mind. Here he comes now.


	10. Chapter 10

And his name is **_JOHN CENA!_**

DR. JOHN CENA came into the house.

DR. JOHN CENA: Which one of you is Lisa?

Lisa: I am.

DR. JOHN CENA put a machine on Lisa's head which scanned her brain. Then a piece of paper printed out of it.

DR. JOHN CENA: You know that misconception that everyone only uses 10% of their brains?

Lisa took the machine off her head.

Lisa: Yes. Why?

DR. JOHN CENA: Because the results of your brain scan say that you specifically actually do only use 10%. Your brain is so big that the other 90% isn't necessary. It also says because of that, on your 18th birthday, your brain isn't just going to grow. You're gonna start using it at 100%.

Anthony: And you're going to turn into a COMPUTER! I probably shouldn't be making a Teen Titans Go! reference in the Sam & Cat tribute. Oh well, too late now.

Lisa: Besides what Anthony said, you might be onto something here. If only I could study my brain further to be sure.

Luan then gave a heartfelt speech to her parents about how they should let Lisa do her thing because she let her do her thing.

Lynn Sr. & Rita: …Lisa, your punishment is over.

Lisa was happy to hear that.

DR. JOHN CENA: Anybody else need anything before I go?

Celebi: Bi bi.

Anthony: Celebi here needs surgery to have her chronogellum removed.

DR. JOHN CENA: No problem. Here's my card. You can schedule an appointment for whatever day works for you. Just not the 12th. I have something very important happening on the 12th.

Anthony: Aw yeah! June 12th high five!

Karli came in carrying Sasha. Sam & Cat were there too.

Karli: DR. JOHN CENA, you have to help me!

DR. JOHN CENA jumped off the top of the couch and body slammed Sasha. This snapped her out of what Ultra Space had done to her.

Karli: Yeah! Sasha!

Sasha: How'd I get here? Just a second ago, I was in…

Karli: Do not say those words!

Karli went over to Anthony.

Karli: Anthony, I'm sorry about that whole "Friendship doesn't exist" thing. I was just…

Anthony: It's okay. I forgive you.

Karli: Yeah! Everything worked out! I say we conclude this with a celebratory song. Cat, I think you know where I'm going with this.

Cat and Karli sang the first three lines of the song. The rest of the lines were song by everybody there except Sam. Anthony gave Emolga, Celebi, and Marshadow translation pills. Goomer, Dice, and many others, came in after the third line to sing too.

 _Take me down to the basement_

 _Fill the buckets with cheese_

 _Tickle your mother with puffer fish_

 _Kiss a rhinoceros then make a wish_

 _'Cause it's noodle soup for the sailors_

 _If their boat sinks in the rain_

 _And we won't, won't pay for this song_

 _'Cause it's public domain!_

Sam: ….That's…..not how the song goes.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!


End file.
